Conversations over drinks

Well, typical GNO you have some drinks, you let loose and so it begins. Being able to talk to someone without any filter is the best. I’m glad I have the friends that I do some more than others. So, much has happened in a year that I don’t believe I have found the time to forgive him. And by him I mean my father. Last year on Nov. 25th he came home from his job and asked my mom for a divorce after 35 years!!! He claimed that this whole lifetime they’ve had together he was never happy. That he had never truly felt loved. Well, it came down to him taking off with all he had and took all the money they had in the bank. He took off and went missing or days. We searched for him everywhere. Thanksgiving came and the whole family including my nephews asked where he was at?! What where we supposed to say to them. I had to say our Thanksgiving prayer, which by the way I had never said before. I was so broken and disappointed that he had walked out on us like that, it was the kind of story that I had only seen in movies and for this to be happening to my family?!!! Well, my sister finally heard from him. He had fled to Mexico to be with this woman he had connected with through social media( go figure) . He claimed the same to my sister that he hadn’t been happy before and felt truly loved until now. My sister was in shock as we all where too. It was then when I actually lost hope and faith in true love I mean if they didn’t make it, what would make me think that I ever could. It was then when I knew what a broken heart really felt like. To see my mother the way she was, how sad, depressed, devastated, etc. that was the worst. My mom means the world to me and seeing her like that was just not a good feeling. Here we are a year later they worked through it he came home and they’ve even attended couples therapy to deal with it all. I don’t ever think I’ll trust him with my life or my feelings. Am I too shallow, or what is the word I am looking for??? I’m disappointed in him in the universe for setting this up they way it happened when it happened where it happened. Why then why before thanksgiving when we are supposed to be grateful for all the wonderful things in our life’s. Why did he ruin this holiday for us?! All for some bitch?! I’m scared right now because it’s only three days until his anniversary from when he left us and broke our hearts.

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Ugh just another day

So I woke up feeling pumped and ready to go. But then I had breakfast and instead of boosting me up even more it brought me down. Basically I crawled back into bed, and didn’t get up until I couldn’t think of an excuse good enough for me to call in. Well, then they call me the nicest employee ever to go pick up some equipment for another sales rep from another store. I did do that and it just made me want to go back to my old store even more. I went to work and it was another blah day I just don’t know how much more I can take of that job. I don’t feel like it’s doing it for me anymore. I need something new in my life. I would like new opportunities, new challenges, new scenes, new everything please!!!

My life in a summary…

Well it all started when this young couple fell in love and decided they wanted to build a family. Well, out of that great big love they gave birth to three daughters started in 1979, 1987, 1992. Definitely a big age gap between my sisters and I. My parents I would say are very realistic and even though we all get mad over this big age gap between us I am glad that they did things the way they did. Because, of that they have been able raise us well and take good care of us. I admire them for being able to raise this family without third party help. They sacrificed a lot coming in to this country to give us all a better life. I would like to say that we have turned out ok. I would like to turn things around and go back to school even if it’s for a short continuing education. I want to be in a better place and be able to make my mother proud of the daughter she raised. If I have the opportunity I believe and know it is definitely up to me to make it. I don’t ever want to rely on anyone to be successful. Iphone picture 2014 1292